April 15, 2007
Just One More Pair of Black Shoes
James 1:17

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."

I have a confession to make. I have an addiction. Not just any addiction - there is no twelve-step process - no special meeting I can go to. No where to stand in front of a group of like-minded people and say, "Hi, my name is Loretta and I . . . am addicted to shoes." It started small, a simple pair of black Mary Janes when I was a little girl. I remember hopping gleefully through the aisles of K-Mart with that little plastic tag connecting the shoes in the middle - you know you've done it too! I was "hooked" even then. My mother is a shoe addict. My older sister is a shoe addict. My niece is only three and she's a shoe addict. I predict that one day I will have a little girl who is addicted to shoes also. It was actually my sister that taught me the time-honored art of avoiding the little hop in the K-Mart shoe aisle. She taught me the trick of trying on two pairs of shoes at the same time. Some of you are nodding your heads as you read this. You get two pairs of identical shoes and put the right shoe of one pair on your right foot and the left shoe of the other pair on your left foot. Yes, you still had a show from each pair dangling in the middle by that little plastic tag - but you were free - oh so FREE! The older I got, the more shoes I collected. I had canvas sneakers in every color of the rainbow, pastel pink pumps, lavender sling backs, wooden/leather clogs, purple suede flats, strappy sandals in ever color, boots for every occasion - and of course, the requisite 47 pairs of black shoes! You name it, and I've had it! I love my shoes.
A few years back, I met and later married a wonderful man - a man who, you guessed it, found my astounding number of shoes, well, astounding! When we were married, we sat down to put together our finances and our family budget. Horror of horrors! It did not include weekly excursions to Payless! What was I to do? I wanted to be a good, submissive, Ephesians 4 wife, but give up my shoes? I know that the Bible says that a man is supposed to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, but I never read anything about a woman giving up her shoes! We finally came up with a sort of compromise. My husband loves me very much (he still hasn't known me long enough yet). Anyway, my husband loves me very much and since he didn't want to give up any more of the too little space in our already cramped apartment, the deal was simple: if I wanted a new pair of shoes, I had to give up two old pairs. Simple for him maybe, but for me the idea was excruciating! Give up my shoes? What was he thinking? However, if it was the only way, maybe I had some I could get rid of that were too old or uncomfortable to wear. I had this one pair that the heel was broken on. They went first. And so I started with the oldest and most uncomfortable. They were actually rather easy to get rid of. But after they were gone, I had nothing but my favorites and the new ones. I stopped going to the shoe department. I didn't want to give up some of my old shoes. They were mine. I'd had them forever and I liked them. They were uncomfortable. But one day, I saw a pair of black heels that I really wanted. My husband was there that day and he drew the line at another pair of black shoes. He said this time, if I wanted them, I had to give up two pairs of black shoes, not just any shoes. I left the shoes at the store. Later that week, I want to get dressed for work and couldn't help but think that those black shoes I had seen at Wal-Mart would have looked so much better with my outfit than anything I had. See, I had just gotten this great new outfit, but none of my old shoes went with it. I made a decision. I would give up two pairs of black shoes. And I did. One day, a long time ago, another Man came into my life. I fell in love with Him, too. And He loved me so much He gave His only Son for me. But, like my husband, He didn't think there was enough room in my heart for all my old wants and needs. He wanted me to give them up, too. Only His deal was slightly better. See, when I gave up my old things for Him, the new things He gave me were so much better and more plentiful. Even though He wanted me to give up the old things in my heart, He already had new ones to go in their place. My old desires were so paltry next to His. It was like the comparison between my old dirty Keds and a pair of shiny new red Cowboy Boots! How could they possibly compare? They didn't and I gave up the Keds. In the same sense, my old rags were so paltry next to his Righteousness.
When Jesus came in and gave me new desires, He also gave me the means to fulfill them through Him. Now, I want more, but again, in order to get His new joys, I have to give up what I was comfortable with before and turn my space over to Him. One way to do that, is for me to give away the gifts He has given me and hope He turns them into blessings for others.
Here's the funny part. I now have all new shoes. None of my old ones are still in my closet. And I'm okay with that. As a matter of fact, I've recently decided that I need to start over and do it all again. Change is good.
Now, if I can just figure out a place to hide those little black pumps I bought the other day . . .

Forever Chasing His Face,
Loretta Dickson
Bayside Baptist Church
Harrison, TN